What if...

What if…We never hear that tiny heartbeat?

What if…We have to endure another miscarriage?

What if…We cry for hours, weeks, years, a life-time?

What if…Our character, our faith and our marriage is tested?

What if…We feel inadequate, ashamed and broken?

What if…We feel angry, jealous and isolated?

What if…Infertility has robbed us of our intimacy and we will never be truly “in the mood” again?

What if…We’ve relaxed, exercised, lost weight, ate every unique food in the book, taken vitamins, stood on my head, propped pillows under my butt, legs in the air, preformed in the morning, night, full moon, blue moon, no moon, cut out caffeine, hot tubs, switched to boxer shorts, cotton sheets, timed ovulation, pee’d on opk’s, charted bbt and taken numerous vacations still to no avail?

What if…We told you to do the same thing for your heart disease, diabetes, breast cancer, or brain tumor?

What if…Our doctors told us none of that would help?

What if…Infertility was defined as a disease?

What if…On November 30^th, 2009 the World Health Organization did just that…declaring for the very first time that Infertility was in fact a disease?

What if…1 in 8 couples of childbearing age are infertile?

What if…Others insensitivity hurts?

What if…We tried just one more IUI and it worked?

What if…We can’t fathom the idea of one more injection, one more suppository, one more blood draw?

What if…We finally save/raise enough money for one IVF cycle and it fails?

What if…We have a complication from IVF and insurance doesn’t cover it?

What if…1 in 10 patients will experience, OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome),  a serious and sometimes fatal complication of IVF which may require hospitalization and is not covered by insurance in Tennessee?

What if…We told you other complications including reactions to anesthesia, bleeding, infection or damage to other organs during infertility treatment and any medications or hospitalization required as a result are not covered by insurance either?

What if…We experience any of these complications and cannot afford to pay the resulting medical bills?

What if…Infertility treatments financially drain us?

What if…It hurts when you say “If you can’t afford treatment you can’t afford a baby”?

What if…You had to come up with $12,000 in one month?

What if…That was nearly half your annual income?

What if…We have to read another pregnancy announcement or see another ultrasound on Facebook today?

What if…I start another cycle only to get news that same day that yet another friend, family member, co-worker is “trying”, has conceived, had an ultrasound, named their baby, given birth?

What if…We’ve been trying all the while they are on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th child?

What if…We have to hear one more pregnant person complain about nausea, indigestion, back pain, swelling or weight gain?

What if…We’ve been to 56 doctor appointments, had 24 blood draws, 21 months of Clomid, 20 intramuscular injections, 14 vaginal suppositories, 11 urinalysis, 9 vaginal ultrasounds, 8 semen analysis, 5 genetic tests, 3 IUI treatments, 2 testicular exams, 1 rectal exam, 1 month of Femera, 1 surgery all of which come with their own not so pleasant side effects and we did it all in hopes of getting to increase our odds from less than 1% to a mear 10% in hopes that we will one day get experience those less than delightful pregnancy symptoms.  

What if…We never let go of our jealousy and resentment because they get to do this naturally?

What if…It hurts when you say “it will happen when it’s meant to be”

What if…We don’t understand why three months is long enough for you while 3 years is still too soon for us?

What if…You can’t understand until you’ve walked a mile in our shoes?

What if…Our hearts ache when you say “just adopt”

What if…We can’t afford to adopt?

What if…We can, but we can’t learn to love a non-biological child?

What if…We can’t bear the intrusive home studies, long waiting lists, the feelings of hostility of applying and being interviewed for a child while others get to freely and effortlessly grow their families?

What if…We have to sit through another dinner hearing our friends, family or co-workers lovingly dote on the achievements of their child?

What if…We never get to celebrate that 1^st birthday, 1^st tooth, 1^st step, 1^st word, laugh, smile, hug?

What if…Our friends get “tired” of dealing with our infertility? With us?

What if…We lose friendships along the way?

What if…We have to learn to live childfree?

What if…We lose ourselves along the way?

What if…We can’t get back to the place we were at emotionally before all of this began?

What if…we get pregnant?

What if…We can’t stomach the thought we had to buy a baby?

What if…Our identities change and we lose who we have become?

OR

What if…We realize that our friends and family are trying the best way they know how to be understanding and supportive?

What if...When another IF couple conceives instead of feeling pain, we are encouraged and given renewed hope that one day the same will happen for us?

What if…We stop hiding behind our fears, our doubts, our pain?

What if…We accept our diagnosis of Infertility?

What if…We stop defining ourselves by it?

What if…We redefine what it means to conceive, to be parents, to be a family?

What if...We become advocates for infertility awareness and research?

What if…You visit Resolve.org and get involved in legislative issues by sending a letter to the U.S. Senate & House of Representatives concerning the Family Act of 2011?

What if…Resolves goal of sending 10,000 letters is met by the end of 2012?

What if…Every state passed a law mandating insurance companies to cover infertility treatments?

What if…Our story, your letter, can help one person, hundreds of people, thousands of people?

What if…We are forever changed?

What if…You are forever changed?

What if…Society is forever changed?

What if…Infertility ceases to exist?

What if…